Crawfish Etufex at Papadeux

I was at a Tradeshow in Dallas Texas a few years back when the fella in the booth next to me said that you haven't been to the south until you go to Papadeax and have crawfish etoufee.  He explained that this was "Theeee dish o' the south" and he described it as crawfish smothered in a tangy cajun tomato sauce.  Well that set me to salivating and right after the show ended that day, I had a taxi drop me off at the famous Papadeax restaurant downtown.  When Miss Dallas seated me and asked if I wanted a menu, I just smiled and ordered the etoufee, happy at the thought of this great opportunity. A few minutes later she brought a big bowl to my table and I was aghast to find tiny crawfish swimming in what looked like dish water. A few spoonfuls confirmed my first impression except that the HOT spices masked the taste of dishsoap and I was unable to continue. So much for my cajun journey!  Fortunately they also had deep fried alligator on the menu and I made a switch to that, enjoying it very much!

Random Thoughts

Soulmates discover eachother dead centre of a point, half way between being too good for the other and not being good enough...

The Male Brain/The Female Brain

An Owner’s Manual for Men (and Women)
Naturally, through a series of observations, I discovered in my early years that there were anatomical differences between boys and girls. Towards my teens, I even conducted a few experiments to verify my hypothesis and by the time I was married, I also noted that females developed, behaved, thought about, valued and remembered things differently than I and my male counterparts did. And now, after 40-odd years of first hand experience with females, including my share of disappointment, confusion, rejection, arguments, and a divorce, I have finally invested some time studying the science of males and females, and more specifically the different way our brains are wired. This led to an interesting list of hormones that ebb and flow in all of our brains and a study of how they affect our emotions and perceptions of human conditions including anger, fear, jealousy, pain, pleasure, stress, threats, loneliness, aging, etc. On a personal note, my research opened doors to some of my own “secrets”, ones that I thought only existed in my most private thoughts and I also came to better understand females, their cycles, and how they perceive and respond to things differently than I. And I think back through the history of mankind and all of the misunderstandings, wars, murders, betrayals and scandals and I can`t help but think that if the cavemen had only known about estrogen, vasopressin, progesterone and oxytocin, we could have skipped a whack of catastrophes in our evolutionary development.
Recent advances in modern brain scanning equipment now allow scientists to scan people’s brains, not only when they are laying in an MRI machine in a hospital, but when they are arguing, eating chocolate, getting a massage, enjoying foreplay and yes, even while they are having sex. We now know where, how and why men and women process and react differently to stimuli.
Physical Differences between Males and Females
The obvious differences are that we men have exterior genitalia, are generally bigger and stronger with broader shoulders, expanded rib cages and higher lung capacity. We also have deeper voices, hairy backs and a sexy strip of pubic hair that runs right up past our navels to our chests, and in some cases, all the way back down the other side. We generally have more facial hair, prominent adam’s apples, and stronger facial features including our jaw bones, eye brows, chins, and noses. For whatever its worth, the average 20 year old man has 176,000 km of myelinated brain wiring while his 20 year old counterpart has about 149,000 km. What is less obvious is our larger brain structure, circuitry and the hormones that affect how we feel and behave.
The default for all human fetus brains is female and for the first several weeks of development, we can swing either way, or both! But for reasons not totally understood, male humans, that is the ones with both an X and a Y chromosome, suddenly get a massive infusion of testosterone at about 8 weeks, which causes the brain to suddenly make space in and around our hypothalamus for sexual pursuit, problem solving, spacial awareness, muscular coordination, pecking order hierarchy, aggression and in the core of the most primitive area of the brain, the amygdala, the alarm system for threats, fear and danger. The spike in testosterone causes the cells in the female reproductive organs to die, while cells for male reproduction split and divide.
Our testicles start manufacturing testosterone, vasopressin and a hormone called MIS (mullerian inhibiting substance) while in females, estrogen, progesterone and oxytocin take them on a journey of their own. All things considered, male and female brain circuits are similar, but men and women interpret, process and react using different hormones and brain circuits.
Testosterone
Testosterone is actually a steroid and it is primarily manufactured in the testicles of males and the ovaries of females. On average, an adult human male body produces about ten times more testosterone than a female, though females are more sensitive to the hormone. In males, testosterone is the primary indicator for sexual behaviour and it affects everything from penis size and enlargement, libido, frequencies of erections and masturbation as well as a hundred other things like how we feel, what we want to touch, taste, and eat, and feel. Testosterone is also credited with affecting our sense of pecking order, jealousy, dominance and the fight-or-flight response.
In females, much smaller dosages of testosterone secreted by their ovaries affect their need for sex, masturbation and also whether or not they have hair on their upper lips.
Sexual Pursuit
Following that body changing shot of fetal testosterone at about 8 weeks, we males develop two and a half times the brain space devoted to sexual drive in our hypothalamus than that of females. By the time we reach our later teens, we are hard wired to be on the look out for and to seize varied sexual opportunities at a moments notice. If testosterone were glasses of milk, a nine-year-old boy would get the equivalent of about a half a glass while fifteen year olds get the equivalent of two gallons a day and this generous daily dose of testosterone is served to us consistently well into our golden age.
Whether or not we intend to pursue females, we are hard-wired to check out the goods. Continuously running sexual thoughts flicker in the background of our visual cortex around the clock, day in and day out and when we see, smell or hear sexually capable females, our primitive brain reacts long before propriety gives us cause to behave ourselves. This includes the colour of human flesh, red lips, the feminine shape of feet, legs, bums, torsos, breasts, necks, faces, and also eye contact and if that isn’t enough, images of female nudity or suggestive scenes give us mind numbing jolts of testosterone and that neurotransmitter of ecstasy, dopamine. This chemical hormone stimulates ‘desire and reward’ by triggering an intense rush of pleasure and it accompanies food, sex, love and lust.
Risk Taking
Sex is not the only thing on our mind. As testosterone surges through our perverted little brains, a companion hormone called vasopressin is also stimulated. Together, testosterone and vasopressin make our brains territorial and sensitive to peer pressure and perceived threats.
When these hormones get mixed up with the stress hormone cortisol, they supercharge our bodies and brain, and prepare us for the male fight-or-flight response in reaction to challenges to our status or turf. Our evolving caveman-like brains have been shaped for hundreds of thousands of years by living in status-conscious hierarchical groups. And while not all teen boys want to be king of the hill, they do want to be close to the top of the pecking order, staying as far from the bottom as possible. And that can mean taking risks that get them into trouble. Scientists say that testosterone levels play a major role in risk-taking during financial decisions such as buying homes and cars, investing, selling real estate etc. and also in recreational pursuits, especially in all of the extreme sports, which are generally dominated by fearless males bent on competing for the number one spot at the risk of self destruction.
Females and Oxytocin – “I want to have babies with you!”
It is very natural for females to fall in love following an episode or two of quality bonding with a healthy male, no matter how casual and no matter how pregnant she is or isn’t. Hundreds of thousands of years of having to raise cave babies by themselves has created a very natural hormonal response for a woman to want to attract and form a long term relationship with a healthy able-bodied hunter/gatherer. Females, directed by their primitive cave-woman brains along with healthy doses of oxytocin (The “love hormone”), adrenaline (also called epinephrine - sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach), dopamine (Euphoria - “You make me feel so good!”), seratonin (“I can’t get you out of my mind!”) and vasopressin (“I want you for me!”) make women fall prey to feelings of attachment and they desire long term bonds.
Do you know why your cat purrs when it is petted and why your dog will run for miles for a pat on the head? Hormones. Years and years of breeding animals with high levels of oxytocin and vasopressin which are neuropeptides associated with the love of physical touch. We have it too.
Bonding/Love and Attachment
Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones (“oh baby I love how you smell!”), dopamine (Euphoria - “You make me feel so good”), norepinephrine (“Oh you make my heart race!”), and serotonin (“I can’t get you out of my mind!”), which act in a manner similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has shown that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years. Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding that promotes relationships lasting for many years and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests.
Truce
There is a brief moment in time, when males and females experience a hormonal break from all of their differences. A time when the world stands still for them and all that remains is the synchronized beating of their hearts free of anything but absolute unison. That’s right. Post copulation, the brief, yet intensely interpersonal moments after sex. Modern brain scans show that when testosterone and endorphins in ejaculated semen meet the women’s cervical wall, females receive a spike in testosterone, endorphins and oxytocin. Both men and women feel the effects of oxytocin but to varying degrees; a man is said to release oxytocin during and immediately after sexual climax, but a woman feels the release of oxytocin during the arousal phase, and then continued releases with each successive orgasm. Initially, oxytocin is released into the blood during hugging, cuddling, sensing of pheromones, touching, kissing and of course foreplay including arousal, oral sex, orgasms and good old fashioned copulation. The physical and emotional effects of this flood of oxytocin include increased sensitivity of nerve endings, involuntary muscle contractions, increased heart rate, a temporary feeling of bonding and attachment plus the desire to touch and be touched. This is one reason why a woman feels the need to cuddle after sex and feels more of an attachment to her partner, even following a casual sexual encounter.
While writing and researching this essay, I took a sentimental journey back to the 90’s when my marriage was wallowing in a complete lack of intimacy. I now understand the deterioration of those feelings of bonding and attachment given the lack of oxytocin and other hormones necessary to keep the bonds alive.

One wrong step...

Metaphorically and literally, I have been on a lot of journeys in my life.  Always leaving in one direction and often coming back from another.  As a young lad, I remember countless bike rides and hikes into the mountains and I learned early on that for every step I took away, it took me an additional step to get back home. Sometimes I even went too far, or in a completely wrong direction and it was tough getting home again.  Now this may sound ridiculously obvious. But, as a metaphor, I see a parallel with life.  You see... it's not just one bad step in the wrong direction. For every step in the wrong direction, it takes two steps to get back to where we started.  Hence the need to only go in the right direction and never get too far from home.

Fiberglassing 101

No task in the history of mankind can teach one the importance of inner harmony like laying up fiberglass. You have, on one side of you all the skill, knowledge and ability you need... And on the other side, the two cans of acetone  (one marked "Dirty"),  carefully waiting along with your various rollers and paint brushes... not too far away rests a bucket of resin carefully measured into 1/2 litre containers, little shot glasses of hardener measured to the milli-dram all waiting for the "moment" to arrive... I mean what could possibly go wrong. And by now you have your toxic waste suit on, latex gloves and maybe even a respirator.  The "moment" in fiberglassing is the second you add the hardener to the resin and everything suddenly needs to be done twice as fast... and everything that happens and how you deal with it relate to how close you get to losing your sanity... for right after "the moment" is when murphy's law will affect you most.  Just as the best laid plans of mice and men go astray, so do the plans of the fiberglass man... mark my words because right after "the moment", your wife will start an argument, your neighbour who never visits will, you will scratch your nose with a sticky and torn disposable glove covered in hairy fiberglass, the cat will want some attention and your shoe will come untied. These are the moments that define you... You can rise up to the challenge, expect all of this and laugh... or you can spazz out... Now take tonight for instance... right after "the moment", I painted a layer of resin on my top deck, laid the pre-cut cloth into position and saturated it with 4 litres of additional resin. That sounds quite sane... and I was except immediately after "the moment", I fell going down the ladder (sticky hands - didn't want to hold on with my hands), I had tools that I didn't need at the top of the ladder and ones I didn't need at the bottom.   And then Sammy the cat came to visit… leaving little round bubbles in my work as he walked over to me and then, noticing his sticky little feet and responding to my yelling, he jumped to the skylight and sat there licking his feet as I swung madly at him with a broom.  By then, my hands were thoroughly tarred and feathers with chopped strand and sticky resin and that was when I noticed my shoe lace had come untied and I came down with the itchiest nose I ever had. I won't say I found inner harmony, but I did marvel at my ability to laugh at myself and the cat.
(Sept 12, 2010)

My Hollywood Movie Idea

Imagine science could take any man and woman... (Take an actor and an actress with absolutely nothing in common... say a gorgeous intelligent blond like Scarlett Johansson who picks up a homeless bum (Woody Harrelson) and imagine science could take these two and make them 100% compatible... emotionally identical doubles of each other.  A visit to a futuristic clinic with a 90 day "satisfaction guarantee"... a few synthetic hormones and a blast of pheromones and an electrical impulse to synchronize their pituitary glands and they fall head over heals in love... 100% compatible... they listen to the same music, eat the same things, finish each other's sentences, and have endless sex day after day until they have lost all traces of their original selves. But then it happens... they no longer debate anything... they stop talking because they already know each other's answers and on the 90th day, they race back to the clinic to go back to being their original selves... but (because I like a happy ending...) they choose to stay together and fall in love in a healthy old fashioned way. The movie closes with the clinic, bordering on bankruptcy, advertising a 30 day "satisfaction guarantee"...