True Love
Love is a Force of Nature
Love, true love, that phenomenal connection that binds two people's lives' together, is a force of nature, unequalled by any other force on this planet or in this life .
It's both wonderful and terrible, the best and worst thing that can happen to any of us. And happen is exactly what it does...like hurricanes happen. Like avalanches or flash floods or wind storms…There you are living your life, doing what you need to do to keep your part in the world moving, a part of a cosmic universe interconnected with millions of other worlds all doing their best too… Then, with the suddenness of a bolt of lightening, on a perfectly ordinary day, you meet someone and the world suddenly jolts to a stand still…and in that moment your heart stops beating, and suddenly everything you thought you wanted out of life is meaningless unless you further explore this connection.
Your life has changed forever. No matter how satisfied you thought you were, you can never go back to the way things were before your heart stopped, before you knew it was possible to feel so much for someone. And that's when it can be terrible… sometimes when the world begins moving again, there are compelling reasons to walk away from that new person in your life… Sometimes circumstances dictate that walking away is the only sane thing to do. And you might try to do that. You might try a thousand times and still fail, because it's alot like deciding not to breathe anymore. And if you do manage to walk away , you soon realize that you're just a hollow shell of the person you were, because living without your heart isn't much like living. And as suddenly as the first bolt of lightening hit you, a hundred more will follow driving you back to the one constant in your mind which is the connection you have for that person. And when that force…that Force, hits you… neither heaven nor earth, neither parent nor child, nor spouse nor even your rational mind can stop you from renewing that connection…
So you just move heaven and earth to be with the person who holds your heart. There's no limit to the amount of emotional pain that two people with this phenomenal connection can endure in the hope that someday they'll be together. You survive the terrible by living and re-living, a thousand times over in your mind, the incomparable wonder of the moments you spend together. When that person says something that cuts to the quick of your heart and the world stops spinning, if only for an instant, and in that instant angels sing and stars fall and your heart stops beating, again....every time. And there comes a time when you realize that you are caught in a force of nature avalanche and to do anything but go with it would be senseless because when the it finally becomes silent and the you get to your feet again you will be standing next to the one person you want to be with and a single hug will make up for a million hours of loneliness…KwN
"I love you too" you say, optimistically imagining that we share the very same definition of the phrase... not knowing that the words, "I love you" once was a confession for me... a license to injure me... a verbal acknowledgement which only served as confirmation that I was able to be hurt.
There was a time when "I love you" meant wanting to spend every waking and sleeping moment together... when every conscious thought, every joy and sadness, every experience had to be shared... when my own needs were unimportant. When being right was less important than being in love... when an unsolicited touch qickened my heart and sent shudders up my spine... and I trusted her enough to say, "I love you"
But... I lost my innocence, my unquestioning trust...
And so, I say, "I love you" wanting you to know that it is indeed a confession... an admission that you can hurt me if you choose to... but I say it also in a spirit of optimism...that you now know what "I love you" means to me... and I trust you enough to love me too.
There was a time when "I love you" meant wanting to spend every waking and sleeping moment together... when every conscious thought, every joy and sadness, every experience had to be shared... when my own needs were unimportant. When being right was less important than being in love... when an unsolicited touch qickened my heart and sent shudders up my spine... and I trusted her enough to say, "I love you"
But... I lost my innocence, my unquestioning trust...
And so, I say, "I love you" wanting you to know that it is indeed a confession... an admission that you can hurt me if you choose to... but I say it also in a spirit of optimism...that you now know what "I love you" means to me... and I trust you enough to love me too.
I love you.
"Water from Your Spring"
There was a dawn I remember
when my soul heard something
from your soul. I drank water
from your spring and felt
the current take me.
-Rumi
