Dark and evil forces gather on the horizon. The loyal white army advances turn by turn, ready to lay down and die in defense of their good King and Queen. A black bishop readies a diagonal blow on an innocent pawn while a white comrade steps forward to protect him, unintentionally exposing his majesty like an open target. Oops but a life is spared! Cheers! Enemy pawns step forward and aggressively take their positions. War is imminent. One particularly courageous White Knight jumps over the front line positioning himself to protect his beautiful Queen but is also ready to destroy evil forces with a defensive leap in any direction. The enemy’s cavalry joins the fray. The White Queen moves forward to protect her White Knight and then nervously back again beside her king. A black ninja pawn slips quietly across the board, readying to kill the white lady; but he forgets about the White Knight and is crushed to death under the hooves of our hero’s mighty steed. But there is no time for celebration for it has begun… brave soldiers fall with each alternating parry and thrust, in a blood bath that lasts for several minutes. Over and over again, the White Knight defends his Queen with his life, and she his with hers. Bodies pile up on the sides with every cheer, curse and gasp. When the gory dust of war settles, a couple scattered pawns stand trembling around the Dark King, the taste of life and death still in their mouths. Our courageous and rather handsome Knight still rides the white horse, valiantly protecting his beautiful Queen. Now side by side, the two take up strategic positions against the Dark King, retreating into a corner while his last pawn, obviously a transvestite, runs for the border with dreams of becoming a Queen. But he/she never makes it… Calling “Check” on the black bastard, our beautiful heroin slides under the protection of the White Knight and takes aim. Oh shit. The evil coward narrowly escapes, sliding into his one remaining square as he tries impotently to flee across the board. But alas, the brave and gallant White Knight slides up a square and jumps two to the right, protected by his amour. He takes aim and with a wink to his one true love, he calls “Check Mate” slaying the dark king with a single blow.